Is our cultural mindset keeping us poor?

Interaction with a relative and its deep-rooted consequences on Bihar.

After two years, I returned to my native village, a small village in Bihar. I met a relative who lives adjacent to my house. He is a middle-aged man with two kids who is now the patriarch of his house.

After a formal greeting, he told me that he has finalized the marriage of his younger brother who is currently working with TCS but wants to prepare for the Civil Services examination. He said that he has told his brother that it’s okay if he wants to prepare - but the decision for a career shouldn’t come in between the decision of marriage. If he cracks the exam, at all, he may find a better-employed girl who’s probably a civil servant too but that won’t give him (in his own language) any “sharireekh sukh” which literally means physical pleasure (not to be confused with sexual pleasure).

He went on to explain how an employed girl wouldn’t meaningfully contribute to the affairs of the family and wouldn’t give much joy to his dear brother either. And whilst he was explaining all of this, his little daughter of almost two years was playing around. 

I jumped onto and interrupted him to ask if he would let his two-year-old daughter work or pursue a career, he proudly declared that he wants her to become a doctor. He continued and proudly recounted how his sisters had contributed to his family’s settlement in Delhi. One sister, he said, had been well-paid and settled in a bank job, but she had chosen to quit and become a full-time homemaker upon her husband’s request. He expressed his desire to instill the same ‘sanskaar’ (values) in his daughter too.

I was called away by my father and couldn’t continue this conversation. But later, I kept on wondering that how this conversation revealed a paradox. My relative's sister had successful career, but after marriage, she became full-time homemaker. Similarly, he wants his daughter to be educated and employed, but ultimately, he expects her to prioritise family duties.

This mindset is not unique to my relative. Many people in Bihar, particularly those from privileged backgrounds, hold similar views. They prioritize family-centric values over citizen-centric ones, limiting the potential of women to contribute to the economy and society.

The consequences of this mindset are far-reaching and I hope more and more people understand this:

1. Population and Health: The well-being of a state is closely tied to the health and education of its population. By limiting women's participation in the economy, we hinder the state's progress.

2. Economic Empowerment: The economic participation of women makes our society more conducive for them - by educating and employing women, we can break the cycle of poverty and create a more equitable society that is safe, just and fair to women.

3. Raising Aspirations: Running a family is hard, but being part of an economic engine is harder - by teaching children to aspire for more challenging and rewarding careers, we can foster a growth mindset and promote economic growth.

4. Setting a Good Example: People from privileged backgrounds have a responsibility to set a good civic example. By promoting citizen-centric values, they can inspire others to do the same.

It's essential to recognize that our cultural mindset can either empower or restrict us. By glorifying stay-at-home women, we're not only limiting their potential but also hindering the progress of our state.

I believe people evolve over time, and I hope my relative does too. However, given his privileged background as an upper-caste individual living in Delhi, his views on women’s roles are concerning. If he holds such opinions, for now it’s very disheartening to imagine the perspectives of those less privileged.